The Perks of Being a Wallflower

"Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life."

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

"I just wanted someone to tell me the truth."

"You're a freak, you know that? You've always been a freak. Everyone says so. They always have."

"I feel infinite."

"You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand."

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."

"I am very interested and fascinated by how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other."

"People who try to control situations all the time are afraid that if they don't, nothing will work out the way they want."

Must Watch Movies

I can't deny the fact that the world is ever changing. It does not take the time to pause, but trudge on in its steady pace waiting for nobody. We are at a time where technology dominates and maybe in the near future, people will be riding in flying cars and living on the moon just like in movies. We are slowly leaving our old ways and adapting to new ones. Personally, I find this change hard to accept. If only I could, I'd have things the way they were but seeing that I can't do much I'll just have to deal with it.

I grew up watching movies that are different from movies of today. I know there are many good movies now but I think everyone should watch some of the movies of the past. They were great. They showed us a life that was simple.

1. Matilda
"This is a story of a wonderful little girl, who happens to be a genius, and her wonderful teacher vs. the worst parents ever and the worst school principal imaginable."

I liked Matlilda when I first watched it. She loves to read books and has telekinesis. I think every children should watch it or else they'd be missing a part of their childhood. This movie is also great for adults, too.

2. Eloise at the Plaza 

"Eloise is a fun-loving six-year-old girl with a knack for finding adventure every place she looks." Eloise portrays a child full of mischievous plans and it's quite fun watching her go through day by day full of adventure. Makes us wanna go back to being a child.

3. Ever After
This is a classic Cinderella story. What I loved about this movie that made me liked it more than the other Cinderella movies is that it happened in a Renaissance era. I have an affinity for past eras like in Jane Austen's time. I never get tired of watching it over and over again.

4. Music and Lyrics
"A washed up singer is given a couple of days to compose a chart-topping hit for an aspiring teen sensation. Though he's never written a decent lyric in his life, he sparks with an offbeat younger woman with a flair for words."

This movie never gets old for me. And the song, too.

5. Aquamarine
"Two teenage girls discover a mermaid in their club's swimming pool."

This movie is about friendship, romance, magic, and separation. Makes me nostalgic.

6. The Princess Diaries
Mia Thermopolis finds out that she is the heir apparent to the throne of Genovia. The road to being a princess was never easy. But one of the things this movie teaches us is that anyone can be a princess.

Three Things

If I ever get to have my own house, there are three things you would see: a library, a kitchen, and a swimming pool.

What's a house without a library? I believe every household should have it because life would be intolerably boring without books. With books it is paradise. I'd like to fill my bookshelves with so many books and then I'd be the happiest girl in the world! I'd make sure to have a room just for my books and have a big chair by the window as my reading corner.

And even though I'm an organized person and hate to see a messy room, I'd gladly have this kind of mess. I consider piled up books on floor as art, not a mess. Tis a wonderful sight to behold!

 I know every house already has a kitchen. I just like to emphasize that I really want to have a kitchen. I don't really know how to cook or bake but I keep thinking that if I have my own kitchen, I can experiment. I don't have to worry about making a mess or breaking any stuff. Heck, it's my kitchen and I can do anything with it. At least that's what I tell myself. I'd like to have a bright and cute kitchen so that I'd be tempted to be there and do something, and not neglect it.

 I don't know how to swim so why would I want to have a pool? Come on! You need not know how to swim to have a pool...right? No, really, the reason why I want to have it is to learn how to swim. I can hire a personal trainer to help me. :) And when I finally know how to swim, I can have that as my exercise. I read somewhere long ago that swimming as a form of exercise has so many benefits and that's the real reason I want to have my own pool. When I'll be too lazy to go out, I can stay at home and use the pool.

These are the essentials for me if I ever have my own place.

Food for the Brain 6

In my last days of Junior year and throughout my Senior year I became interested in Mills and Boon books. I don't read the modern Mills and Boon. I'm referring to the old ones. It's quite a good thing our school library had them. I enjoyed reading the different love stories and I loved how I was introduced into an earlier era of simple luxuries and technology-less world.

The one above caught my attention while reading one of the books. Isn't that what we all want? To be important? To be wanted? It's what everybody wants I'm sure. Sometimes, we think that we are loved and think of ourselves as someone important and when we find out that we we're not, it's life-shattering and makes us doubt our beliefs. We react in different ways. I guess when we know we are loved even if it's just one person, it'd be enough to face the world again.

Envy

It's one of the cardinal sins you know.

I am envious of many things. I wish I could stop being envious but it's hard. I envy other people's lives who seem to have everything going great for them. I end up wishing that I had a life like their own. Like everyday is an adventure and having the time of your life. Like in movies and books. It's kind of depressing always wanting stuff. I try to remind myself not to compare myself to others but most times I just can't help it. I can't seem to ignore the things they have that I lack. I just can't help noticing them.

There's a girl I know and envy who will be known as Jessica. I graduated as valedictorian when I was in 6th grade. Of course going into high school there'd be a lot of changes but in my mind I always thought I'd be like the highest in our batch. I dare say I was acknowledged by my teachers as a bright and good student. But all that changed when Jessica transfered to my school. She took away the spotlight as I'd like to think it. I know I sound like a mean girl who got outshined by the new girl but I can't put it any other way. She was beautiful, talented and truly intelligent. She was like a genius you know. And she was near perfection. She had it all-the beauty, the brain and the attitude. The kind of student teachers would admire. She was always the highest and even graduated as valedictorian in high school. I envy her because of those things. Why couldn't I be like her?

There are two other girls whom I envy. "Christy" is my senior and "Kammy" is my junior. What they both have in common is beauty. I'm telling you these girls are so pretty and quite popular. They seemed to look good in anything and can pull off any outfit. I wish I was that pretty. I'm pathetic. I don't know much about them but I do know that Christy is rich but also smart. She's like a young English lady. Elegant and polished. Then there's Kammy. She's the kind of girl everybody loves. She has a bestfriend she've known since I don't know when. They remind me of those friendship movies where you were one lucky gal if you ever meet such a friend. Kammy's also like one of the boys. She hangs out with them doing boy stuff but she ain't a tomboy.

I sound so pathetic telling this but I can't help it. I feel like I'm insignificant whenever I feel their presence. I guess this is what you get when you compare yourself to others. You're bound to find something not pleasant.

Food for the Brain 5

Kids. They are quite fascinating little beings. Truth be told, I'm scared of them. I know they are so cute and all but I'd rather just admire them from afar. I'm scared of what they are going to say. It could be anything. They could bluntly tell or ask you things that will sometimes take you by surprise. We can learn a lot from them, you know. But a sad truth is that some children are in an environment where they can't realize their potential. I mean their minds are corrupted. They've been exposed to too much wrongness that they become these little bastards. That may sound mean but that's what I think. I'm sorry. I wish all children are provided a safe and friendly environment.

Fashion Inspiration

Something I found pretty. Russian vintage is what comes to my mind when I see these.

Unsatisfaction

I want so many things right now. I seem to always want something. I wish I could be contented with what I have but I can't. I'm always unsatisfied. Wanting something that I can't have really sucks because it just makes me sad. Why can't the world just give us what we want? Why can't we have everything for free? Why can't the world be a wish-granting factory? 

I've been taught that life is not about the material things. What matters most in this world can't be seen and it can't be bought. The important things are not easy to acquire. We have to work hard for them. I still can't grasp the whole concept of what's our purpose in this world but can't we at least enjoy the time we have here? I mean, yes, we've heard that we have to make the best at what we have. But I really want to try so many things but I can't afford them. I'm not a resourceful and creative person. I can't look at a certain object and think of the many different things I could make it out to be. What I want to do requires money and time. Two things I don't quite have. 

I want to make a book filled with pictures and quotes. I can't do that yet because I don't have money for printing. I want to bake but I can't because I don't have the money for the ingredients. I want to read books but I'm bombarded with works that are taking up too much of my time. I want to go to Europe but I can't because I don't have money. I don't know if it's possible that a person (assuming he's a regular, not rich, person) can do all that but I can't. I want to but I can't. I seem to have all these excuses. The things I want to do are pretty harmless so why is it so hard to make them attainable?

I'm just so confused. Am I making myself suffer? By wanting so many things, do I make myself disappointed? I'm telling you again, what I want are pretty harmless. Why can't I do them already? Is it because I don't have the determination? Is it because I don't take action? Probably... I'm just confused and disappointed, is all.

A Place of my Own

I have never had a place all to myself, let alone a room of my own. Since I was little, I've been sharing with the family. I never got to experience decorating my room as to what I like. A person who never got to experience having an own room would naturally want to have one just like how a girl with a straight hair would want to have a curly hair or how a a tall person would like to be short. 

So, yes. Growing up, I've longed for a room of my own but I still haven't got it yet. Due to some circumstances, I'm stuck sharing a room with my brother. I'm in a house with my cousins. But you know what I've realized? I realized that I may not be ready to live on my own yet. I dream of having a house all to myself but I think living in it alone would be lonely. I have had moments when all of them are out and I'm the only one in the house. At times I'd feel happy because I got the place all to myself but sometimes I'd feel lonely. I guess I'm just not ready.

Even though I'm not gonna be purchasing any houses or apartments anytime soon, I seem to find myself planning what my place would look like. Right now I'm interested in small apartments. Various kinds of smallness. And when I say small, I mean really small. Just enough to fit in all the things I need. I find small apartments cute. The picture above is my attempt at interior designing, which I'm not good at all. I forgot how I came to this site but I'm glad I did. It lets me plan how a room should look like.

The thing I really want most right now is a room of my own--not a house but a room. I want to have that feeling of having my own property. A place I can call my own. A place where I can dump all my things. A place where I can have my privacy. A safe little haven.

#random

"Rid yourself of the idea that you are working for the teacher or the marks alone. Feel that what you study now will become your own accumulated wealth of knowledge that you yourself will use in the future."

You know, I used to be a very curious person. I wanted to know things, but I am now someone who doesn't really give a crap. I've become a person who thinks that nothing in life should be taken seriously. I wish I can be that curious person again.