Envy

It's one of the cardinal sins you know.

I am envious of many things. I wish I could stop being envious but it's hard. I envy other people's lives who seem to have everything going great for them. I end up wishing that I had a life like their own. Like everyday is an adventure and having the time of your life. Like in movies and books. It's kind of depressing always wanting stuff. I try to remind myself not to compare myself to others but most times I just can't help it. I can't seem to ignore the things they have that I lack. I just can't help noticing them.

There's a girl I know and envy who will be known as Jessica. I graduated as valedictorian when I was in 6th grade. Of course going into high school there'd be a lot of changes but in my mind I always thought I'd be like the highest in our batch. I dare say I was acknowledged by my teachers as a bright and good student. But all that changed when Jessica transfered to my school. She took away the spotlight as I'd like to think it. I know I sound like a mean girl who got outshined by the new girl but I can't put it any other way. She was beautiful, talented and truly intelligent. She was like a genius you know. And she was near perfection. She had it all-the beauty, the brain and the attitude. The kind of student teachers would admire. She was always the highest and even graduated as valedictorian in high school. I envy her because of those things. Why couldn't I be like her?

There are two other girls whom I envy. "Christy" is my senior and "Kammy" is my junior. What they both have in common is beauty. I'm telling you these girls are so pretty and quite popular. They seemed to look good in anything and can pull off any outfit. I wish I was that pretty. I'm pathetic. I don't know much about them but I do know that Christy is rich but also smart. She's like a young English lady. Elegant and polished. Then there's Kammy. She's the kind of girl everybody loves. She has a bestfriend she've known since I don't know when. They remind me of those friendship movies where you were one lucky gal if you ever meet such a friend. Kammy's also like one of the boys. She hangs out with them doing boy stuff but she ain't a tomboy.

I sound so pathetic telling this but I can't help it. I feel like I'm insignificant whenever I feel their presence. I guess this is what you get when you compare yourself to others. You're bound to find something not pleasant.