Food for the Brain 3

We cannot, shouldn't wait for things to just happen. We can't think like something's gonna happen anytime now just by sitting around doing nothing. No, nothing's ever gonna happen if we just sit idly. We tend to think that life's gonna give us something good anytime now. That we just have to wait. Trusting fate to do all the work. It's the worst thing we can do. You sitting by the table, sipping your coffee, drumming your lazy little fingers on the table while waiting stupidly and expectantly for a thing that's never gonna come. We have to take action. We must do something to achieve what we want. The only way we can ever get anything we want in life is to work hard for it. Earn it.

Good ol days

 *photos here aren't mine. grabbed them from different sources.

Here's a random fact about me: I love the good ol days.

I love how people before are so engaging with one another. And I mean real human to human contact. Not through computers and internet. There were afternoon teas and parties and dances. Oh, the dances! How I'd like to try those traditional dances wherein you have partners. I also would like to try dressing up in ball gowns and dresses. It's not easy being in those clothes but I'd like to try.

And whatever happened to the gentlemen? Where are they now? It would be nice to have plenty of them in the here and now. Those noble, agreeable and well-mannered gentlemen. Someone to open doors for the lady, someone to give flowers and chocolates and just someone who will treat a lady right. I don't see a lot of them right now. tis sad..

I guess the main reason for why I yearn for the old days is because I've been reading a lot of Jane Austen novels. But still, I'd like to try living in the past.

An Infliction in the Past

I often wonder how other people can talk so easily and confidently to other people. I am not a talker. As much as I can I avoid contact with other people. I'm uncomfortable around them. I don't know why but I get scared around them. This makes me think that maybe there's something wrong with me. I'm shy but I'm sooo shy that I can't even go out to places on my own. I'd want someone to come with me because if I'm all alone then I get scared. Scared of what I don't know. I remember my brother telling me something because of my reluctancy on being on my own. He said, "Why are you scared? They're just human. You treat them as if they're your enemies." He had a point though.

I have a theory as to why I'm like this. The problem is I'm not sure if what happened was real or was just a dream. But come on, why would I dream something like that if it never happened, right? ...right? I don't want to write down what happened. I also don't want to tell my parents. It's hard, embarrassing and infuriating. I don't know if I'm giving too much away but I hope not.

I just wish that I can get over it and change. I want to become a better person. Someone who is worth remembering. Someone who can have an effect on people. Someone who can change lives. Someone who is strong, happy and brave. Someone my parents can be proud of. I just want to be someone who's not scared to face life and be happy.

A Cycle

It's me against the world,

The world against another world,

The world against another person,

Another person against me.

It's a never ending cycle!

Hey..this makes no sense. :)))

Emily Owens, M.D.

Okay, here's the thing... I've watched the first 2 episodes of Emily Owen, M.D. and so far I've liked them both. I guess this will be a new TV series I'll be following. I like it because it gives me an insight of what it's like to be working in a hospital. I don't know how true or relatable the show is to reality but I like how it makes me feel like I'm watching the events as if I'm really there. O......kay. I have no idea what I've just written.

Anyway, here's a quote that I like from the show:

"The thing about being an adult that no one tells you growing up is that you don't feel like an adult. All your stupid insecurities and anxieties are still there, only you feel more stupid and insecure about being stupid and insecure because you're not supposed to be stupid and insecure anymore. You're supposed to have the answers. You're supposed to know. But we don't always know. And those answers? They're not always easy to come by. Well you know what? I'm done feeling stupid and insecure about feeling stupid and insecure. The truth is, I think part of being an adult is that you stop waiting for yourself to change and you start to accept who you are."

-Emily

Back at last

Wow. I guess I wasn't kiddin' when I said I'd be gone for a long time. Months have passed and within those months I finally understand what those bloggers keep on saying. They keep on saying how blogging keeps them sane or something like that. I know it now. There were these circumstances that made me wish that I could blog. I know I've just started blogging but I couldn't help thinking how I wish I could write something about this or something about that. Just to share, you know? Now that I'm back I'll have to remind myself to write stuff here though because I have this tendency to think things over and over in my head and then I end up not writing it anymore which is really frustrating.
Well, this is it for now. Til next time! :)

Food for the Brain 2

THIS hit rock bottom for me. Explaining is not my forte. When someones asks me a question with a why? in it I end up stuttering, mumbling and looking like a fool. I have a hard time telling people my opinions and feelings. And when I try, I don't exactly deliver what I had in my mind. Well anyways I'm off the topic now. :) Going back... If a person can make a child understand his beliefs, etc., then it would mean the person knows what he's talking about because explaining something to a child is not easy.

I guess this'll be my last post for a while. New and big changes are coming to me in a day or two. 'Til next time! 

The Header

I want to give myself a big pat on the back! I'm just happy that I finally get to put a header on my blog. This wasn't really the design I had on my mind but what the heck? I know it isn't that great, what with my crappy Photoshop skill but still... It's something that I am proud of. :))

I also noticed that my blog's a little too pink-y for my taste. I want to change it but at the same time I don't want to which is really frustrating. But I'mma leave it as it is for now.

Food for the Brain 1

The one above is what my Gr. 8 English teacher used to say to us. That one really stuck to me because at first I thought she meant that the noisy classmates were like a noisy river and the silent ones were the deep river but upon  closer inspection, there is something else in that saying. I can't exactly put it into words but there is something in that.

Well, on another note.. I don't think I'll be able to update my blog anytime soon. I'm moving out and to where I'm going, there's no access to computers which really suck~!

An Admired Friend

So... I've been going through my desk lately because I'll soon be moving out and I found this folder where I keep my drawings and writings. I found my silly poems written a few years back and I laughed at what I wrote then. I'm not a good poet nor am I a good writer but what has being good got to do with writing? People write to express themselves so it isn't really important to have the correct grammar. :p What's important is to be understood. 

Here's a poem I wrote back in July 2010:

She is silent and simple

She loves to eat apple

She doesn't attract attention

Yet people come for a lively conversation.

She is humble and quiet

She likes to write

She grieves over her first love

That flew away like a dove.

She is thin and small

She is beautiful

I admire her a lot

For her generous heart.

This got me thinking and maybe I'm gonna post some of my old writings here. I'm not sure yet but maybe...

'Til next time!