Anonymity

Anonymity. There is something to be desired about that. It's one of the reasons why I haven't been exactly open with my identity here.

Most of my life I have been a little recognizable. When I was young, I was a bit taller than the rest. During school years, I was smarter than the others. And now those two I've mentioned doesn't really separate me from the rest of the crowd anymore. Instead I now have something, which I can't easily get rid of, that makes me "stand out" a bit and it is not the pleasant kind of attention. And I won't say what it is.

The thing is, because of this something, people can easily remember me. With this in mind, I am more conscious of my actions because I keep thinking that they "know" me already. Whenever I go to the mall or walk around the neighborhood I feel that they are watching me. I may be over thinking this to the point that it makes me egocentric but I can't help it. If you must know, I'm not good at talking with people and I'm not comfortable being on my own when I'm out so I guess people may perceive me as someone weird or awkward when they see me out. I guess it wouldn't really matter much if I didn't have this something that makes me a little bit memorable.

It would be nice if I can be someone who would take someone else a few meetings in order to remember me. Heck, I could do a few reckless things and not worry if someone will be able to point me out! I know I'm not making much sense but if only... There is something to be desired about anonymity.